A Conservative Korean Girl’s Culture Shock — Mexican Dating Culture
Warning: I am very traditional.
I’m what Koreans call a “Confucian girl” — traditional, conservative, cautious.
Back in Korea I was always careful about everything. Taking things slow with crushes, being thoughtful about physical affection, treating confessions seriously. That was just my standard.
Then I went to Mexico.
My standards didn’t survive the first day.
Day One. Already Getting Flirted At. I Had No Idea.
First day of university.
A guy in my class followed me on Instagram. A few hours later, a DM arrived:
“I’ll be your translator, your driver, your photographer, your travel guide, and the friend you call when you have nothing to do.”
Conservative Korean girl me thought:
Oh, what a friendly person 🙂
It was flirting. Obviously.
Another guy kept sliding into my DMs asking me to get tacos. “Hey, you didn’t forget that you owe me tacos, right?” A guy I’d only said hi to a few times in class texted asking what I was doing on the weekend.
In Korea, this level of attention means someone is seriously interested in you. Here it’s just… how they say hello.
First crack in my conservative worldview.
Picking You Up By Car Is Just Standard
Mexican guys pick you up by car. It’s not a special gesture — it’s just the default.
In Korea, a guy driving to pick you up means he’s really serious. Here it means he has a car and you need a ride.
To be fair, you kind of need a car to date here. Most people have one. Maybe it’s because my university (UDEM) is the most expensive private university in Mexico — but everyone drives.
Quedando — Like a Situationship But Make It Official
Mexico has something called Quedando. Similar to the Korean concept of “some” (pre-dating) but with one key difference.
In Korea, the “some” phase is this ambiguous, unspoken thing where nobody really knows what’s happening. As a conservative girl, I’d spend the whole time overthinking it alone.
Here? Someone just says: “Let’s start quedando!” It’s declared out loud.
The timeline is also different. Korean “some” lasts maybe 2-3 weeks. Quedando is 2-3 months — standard. During that time you date, get to know each other, and at the final date the guy shows up with flowers and says “Will you be my girlfriend?”
As a traditional Korean girl — honestly? I liked this part. At least it’s clear.
The Valentine’s Party Dress Code Was Something Else
There was a Valentine’s party. The dress code:
- ❤️ Red — already taken
- 🤍 White — single
- 🩷 Pink — situationship / currently in quedando
I wore white. Obviously.
The Romantic Part Is Real
Flower shops everywhere. Supermarkets sell flowers. You can order bouquets on Uber Eats.
Guys open car doors, show up with flowers to confess, say “I love you” constantly, and physical affection is completely natural.
Honestly? As a conservative Korean girl, I found it kind of exciting. I’ll admit it.
Then Came the Third Shock
My Mexican female friend told me —
“Mexican guys have so much love that they share it with two or three people at once.”
Conservative Korean girl me: 😐
Yes. You know exactly what that means.
Some guys go all-in on one person during quedando. Others are pursuing two or three simultaneously. I asked both male and female Mexican friends about this — roughly 50/50, they said. Half faithful, half not.
And it goes both ways. My Mexican female friend casually mentioned she cheated on someone in high school. Just said it. No big deal to her.
I sat with that information for a moment.
All that romance — the flowers, the car doors, the constant “te quiero” — and this is what’s happening behind the scenes.
I did not want to know this. But now I do.
Conclusion From a Conservative Korean Girl
Mexican dating culture = Romance MAX + Cheating probability also MAX.
Enjoy the excitement, but don’t take it too seriously.
This conservative Korean girl watched from the sidelines. 🙂
👉 Next post: Cost of Living in Monterrey — How Much Does a Month Actually Cost?